What to say when you need time alone

Alone time in a Relationship

There are periods when you need time away from your partner, to focus on your study, career, or other stuff.

It is normal to want time to yourself in a romantic relationship but you need to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you need space without breaking up.

If you think your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t understand you need time alone, you only need to make him/her realize further how good it is to your life to focus on other stuff at that period.

Your partner may also want to be sure you’re not falling out of the relationship or you’ve just met another partner you want to be spending your time with.


How to Ask for alone time in a Relationship

If you feel you’re becoming too close to your partner and he/she doesn’t want to say it but it’s written all over him/her, it’s a sign you need space from him/her.

Whichever the reason you want to ask for alone time in your romantic relationship, asking it right is very important so your partner doesn’t mistake it for a breakup.

What to say when you need time alone

Be specific about it

Telling your boyfriend or girlfriend, “I need some space in this relationship” can sound pretty harsh and hurtful.

Let your partner understand what exactly you mean by that, for example: “I’m feeling pretty stressed right now and would need a space or break” or “I would like to work heavily on my project this week/month and would be a bit away from you”

If you are honest and clearly state how things are moving around you and what you need to focus on at that moment, then your partner has a better chance of understanding you and your needs – and will feel more comfortable addressing your own needs just as openly.


Make it clear you’ll not distant yourself emotionally

It is good to let your partner understand how much alone time you need, and when you’ll be done with other things you want to sort out with your life.

Also, make it clear that nothing will affect your communication. You’ll continue to interact on social media, via calls and messages.

It is important to make it clear that it is not the emotional distance that you need, but rather some time and space to be alone with yourself.

Communicating here, too, can help avoid conflict or hurt and give both of you what you need for a healthy partnership.


Do you feel “guilty”? Think about why that could be

If you feel bad about wanting time to yourself, think about the reasons.

Maybe your parents used to make you feel guilty if you didn’t spend enough time at home or didn’t get in touch regularly?

Something like that can shape into adulthood. But remember, you are very much entitled to time alone – even in a relationship. Do not have a guilty conscience because you also demand this.


Make plans together

If you want to take a little distance for a long time and want to show your partner that this is only temporary and that nothing will change in your relationship, then suggest that they do something together soon – such as an excursion or weekend trip.

In this way, you are giving him/her the understanding that you like to spend time with him/her and that you are looking forward to the togetherness (which you can probably enjoy even more if you don’t constantly peck together).


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