{"id":35,"date":"2021-10-28T00:14:43","date_gmt":"2021-10-28T00:14:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/?p=35"},"modified":"2022-08-14T19:33:08","modified_gmt":"2022-08-14T19:33:08","slug":"i-knew-what-i-needed-in-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/i-knew-what-i-needed-in-love\/","title":{"rendered":"I knew what I needed in Love but I&#8217;d forgotten"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_86 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #8c233b;color:#8c233b\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #8c233b;color:#8c233b\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"#\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/i-knew-what-i-needed-in-love\/#How_an_Anonymous_found_herself_back_in_Love\" >How an Anonymous found herself back in Love<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"#\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/i-knew-what-i-needed-in-love\/#Dont_worry_be_open_to_everything_and_never_too_much\" >Don&#8217;t worry, be open to everything and never too much<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"#\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/i-knew-what-i-needed-in-love\/#The_closeness_gets_even_closer\" >The closeness gets even closer<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"#\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/i-knew-what-i-needed-in-love\/#I_found_myself_again\" >I found myself again<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_an_Anonymous_found_herself_back_in_Love\"><\/span>How an Anonymous found herself back in Love<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I come from a very long relationship, it was toxic, for a long time. For years it was characterized by silence, arguments, punishment, anger, sadness, distance, and being alone.<\/p>\n<p>At some point, we lost each other and were alone in the relationship for a long time.<\/p>\n<p>Although I worked a lot on myself and took good care of myself, I knew less about who I am and what I need.<\/p>\n<p>He was probably a narcissist, I tied up. After 25 years I broke out, and wanted to be alone.<\/p>\n<p>Anything was better than continuing this boring love relationship.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dont_worry_be_open_to_everything_and_never_too_much\"><\/span><a href=\" https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/i-knew-what-i-needed-in-love\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-192\" src=\"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/found-love-again-by-sexpally.com_.webp\" alt=\"How a friend found love again\" width=\"849\" height=\"565\" \/><\/a><br \/>\nDon&#8217;t worry, be open to everything and never too much<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>I hadn&#8217;t kissed in years, I wanted to make up for that.\u00a0I went on Tinder.<\/p>\n<p>After three days of tindering, I had a date with you, you were immediately flashed by me and I also liked you very much.<\/p>\n<p>I called you or us the perfect match. I was open to everything, and had nothing to lose.<\/p>\n<p>I also had no expectations, I wanted to live, I was hungry, I was free, and I wanted to kiss.<\/p>\n<p>A friend asked me if I was not afraid of being hurt. No, I did not. I wanted to kiss, I wanted to feel love, I wanted to fly.<\/p>\n<p>I was never afraid, the bad times were behind me. I was and am with myself, giving myself happiness and satisfaction.<\/p>\n<p>We kissed on the third date.\u00a0I think all day long.\u00a0I flew, it was beautiful.<\/p>\n<p>You said you could show me your stamp collection, that was fun.\u00a0But we waited a little longer for that.<\/p>\n<p>That was over two years ago.\u00a0Since then, we&#8217;ve seen each other three to five days a week and it&#8217;s never too much.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_closeness_gets_even_closer\"><\/span>The closeness gets even closer<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>In the beginning, you lived a little further away from me, but you felt like moving near me very quickly.<\/p>\n<p>You wanted to be close to me from the start. I couldn&#8217;t leave yet because I live with my students.<\/p>\n<p>You have lived close by for some time and we see each other a lot. We <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/interesting-facts-about-kissing\/\">kiss a lot<\/a>, still. We are happy, you love me, I love you.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, we talk a lot, about everything, we are open, we are close, I am me and you love exactly that, you are you and I love exactly that. I can be exactly as I am, that is a wonderful experience for me.<\/p>\n<p>I still can&#8217;t quite believe it and have to pinch myself now and then to see if I&#8217;m in reality.<\/p>\n<p>How can it just be so good?\u00a0How can it just be that easy?\u00a0And how could it be so difficult for so long?<\/p>\n<p>I no longer knew what it was like to be light.\u00a0To be happy, to feel closeness.<\/p>\n<p>You give me what I need, you make me see the good version of myself and that is beautiful and makes me very grateful.<\/p>\n<p>Because there was a time when I was emotionally closer to death than life.<\/p>\n<p>Now I&#8217;m living to the fullest again. I enjoy it and love it, it fits, and it&#8217;s beautiful.<\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"I_found_myself_again\"><\/span>I found myself again<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>The last time I was mucking out I found old letters to my ex-husband from our early days, in which I wrote back then that I was not happy, that I needed more closeness and tenderness.<\/p>\n<p>Back then I knew what I needed &#8211; and over time I just forgot about it.<\/p>\n<p>I stayed anyway, I was able to share my love and tenderness with my wonderful children, but in the relationship, I pretended to be so as not to hurt myself.<\/p>\n<p>Now I have rediscovered what I already knew before.\u00a0I know again what I need, what makes me happy, what I love and you give it to me.<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t ask for it, didn&#8217;t expect or demand anything.\u00a0And I don&#8217;t have to &#8216;afford&#8217; anything for it.<\/p>\n<p>You just give it to me because you want it, because you are who you are and because it fits so well.<\/p>\n<p>I think you feel the same and that just makes everything a lot nicer.<\/p>\n<p>Each of us could shed our past. Now we enjoy every moment together in the present, and we&#8217;re grateful for it, and have no expectations for the future.<\/p>\n<p>We enjoy, we love, we talk, we laugh, we cry, we do ourselves well. I can give everything to you and also get everything from you.<\/p>\n<p>Too cheesy?\u00a0Maybe somehow yes, but it is what it is.\u00a0I&#8217;ve felt like a teenager in love for two and a half years.<\/p>\n<p>I blossom and can finally be the woman who slumbered inside me for so long. And I am very happy, and satisfied, and take every moment as it comes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How an Anonymous found herself back in Love I come from a very long relationship,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":192,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/192"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sexpally.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}